A New Look!

So I decided to rename my blog. It's no longer a journey through infertility. It's a journey on learning to live my life child-free. Just me and my hubbs. The ups and downs that come along with that. My feelings and emotions as I navigate this new life we are adjusting to.

It looks like in our home there will just be two. Of course I can't forget the 3 other members of our family. Our "furbabies" that we love so much! Technically there are 5 but just 2 humans. :)

Of course I'll still be celebrating the good in my life. All the wonderful things we get to do. We may not get to experience being parents but we will live our life to the fullest no matter what!

So a new name, a new look and hopefully a new lease on life.

Thirty Schmirty

30 is fine, whatever. It's the sudden difficulty to maintain my weight that is driving me insane. It's like someone flipped a switch the day I turned 30 that made it twice as hard. The last few years I could pretty much eat right during the week, work out normally, eat what I want on weekends, have beers and not pay the price. Not the case anymore. My splurges on the weekends (which aren't that much anyway!) have given me an extra 3 pounds that just won't budge. 3 pounds you say? Why is that a big deal? Well I'm not a very big person so 3 pounds is uncomfortable. It makes me feel bloated and my pants just the tiniest bit snug which I don't like.

Here is a typical weekday: keep in mind we try to eat "clean". Meaning no trans fats, no added unnatural ingredients and just whole foods. Fruits and vegetables, protiens and we stay away from processed foods. It's actually pretty easy to do:

Breakfast: a slice of whole wheat toast and a hard boiled egg. Sometimes I replace those with a protien shake (milk, ice, protien powder and 1/2 a banana)

Lunch: 1/2 a sandwich of some sort, 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and a raw vegetable or piece of fruit - yes, I actually measure out my food.

Snack: Usually a berry (strawberries or raspberries) and a raw vegetable of some sort. Sometimes 1/4 cup of nuts for a healthy fat (again, measured out)

Dinner: a protien and vegetable usually. Sometimes a starch such as a sweet potato or corn tortilla

Pretty healthy right?

Weekends usually consist of a normal healthy breakfast but lately on game days we're making sliders or dips or crackers and cheese. I'm pretty good at portion control but I guess my body hates these "splurge" foods now that I'm 30. Twenty year olds have all the fun.

I work out quite a bit too. 5 days a week. Cardio, abs and weights. I do cardio 5 days a week (running specifically) and lift about 3 of those days also. 3 mile minimums and I incorporate interval training to burn fat.

I guess it's time to be more strict on the weekends. I like being in control of something in my life and the way I eat and exercise is one of the ONLY things I can control! I feel better when I'm doing these things and though I'm still doing them - I can do better. I want to do better. My husband thinks I'm crazy and that I should just be happy with the way I am. And don't get me wrong, I am happy. I know I look pretty good. This is more about being in good shape and doing good things for my body. I worked hard to get to this place and I'm not letting it go!

I have a problem...

It's called shopping. Clothes/shoe shopping to be exact. I love it. It's so fun and so fulfilling for me. And it's not even that I go that often or spend THAT much money on it. But I think about it all the time. I make lists of things I want at the moment and research where I could find these items for less. So that I can get more of course! I pour over magazines studying the latest trends and styles.

I absolutely love the month of September because I get money for my birthday and get to shop guilt-free without the hubby asking me how much I'm spending or worrying about our budget for the month. And my family and friends are so generous. So far with my birthday money I have bought: a couple cotton tops (one long, the rest casual styles), a super cute wrap around sweater, 2 long necklaces, a cute fitted flannel style button up top, an adorable faux fur vest and a scoop neck top to go with it, 2 thick belts (one black, one brown), a pair of GREAT grey boots since grey is my obsession lately, knee high black riding style boots and jeggings.

::swoon:: Fall is in the air and I am so excited to break out all my boots and sweaters!

I think this obsession started in 2007. I had lost my college weight (about 22 pounds) and got into pretty decent shape I'd say. My body isn't too shabby and after being a little overweight in college I was ready to show off all the work I'd put in! And it's been downhill from there. :) I do own a good amount of clothes and shoes. My closet is great - everything is orgainzed and in its place so I can easily find what I need. Not to mention the dresser that is bursting at the seams... One good thing about me is that I "purge" my closet and clothes every 6 months or so. If I haven't worn it in the last 6 months or wasn't crazy about it last season - it's donated. And I shop sales (for the most part) and use coupons I earn shopping at various stores.

Don't even get me started on shopping for our home and yard. That's a whole other post!

I have $40 left and it's burning a hole in my pocket... I have a few things left on my list! :) Where are your favorite places to shop?

Thankful on Thursday

I am so very thankful that I have a good job. I might not make all the money in the world, it might not be perfect or exactly what I want but I'm thankful I can take a lunch on a nice Fall day and pick up some things at the mall I want without having to worry about it too much. There are a lot of people right now, in this economy that don't have that luxury. So today I am thankful for my stable job.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Me, Vegas, a bartender with a bottle of booze. Enough said!

A Weekend Recap

Whew, is it Tuesday already? Where did the weekend go? Oh yeah, it flew by because we were on the go every.minute.of.the.weekend. Seriously, it was really busy. But in true Hoppy style we had fun!


Friday night I made delicious (and healthy) turkey chili for dinner. We hung out at home and watched TV with a glass of wine since we knew it would be busy for the rest of the weekend.


Instead of getting up to lift on Saturday we slept until about 8:30 and had breakfast at home. After getting ready we made a 2 hour trek down South for my Uncle's wedding. He's been through a LOT in his life so I was glad we went to support him even though it wasn't the most convenient thing to do. He has a 15 year old son that he and our family found out about in the last couple years so we were able to meet him for the first time as well. Congrats Uncle G and my new Aunt L!



Straight from the wedding we headed up to my DH's cousin's wife's parent's condo in Black Hawk. Did ya catch all that?! We stay there a couple times a year and it's so fun. We had some cocktails, gambled and just enjoyed each other's company. They have been great friends to us so we really love hanging out with them. We didn't win any money but didn't lose it all either!



The Aspens are changing, it was pretty gorgeous up there

Sunday morning we headed home first thing to get ready and go to the Bronco game! Some great clients of MrHoppy's gave us 2 club level seats - for free. Can't beat that! After an hour of trying to park and finally walking to the stadium we had a cold beer and watched our beloved Broncos get beat by Indy. We had fun even if they lost.

Go Broncos!

The field from our awesome club level seats

A few pictures from my iPhone since we still haven't replaced our broken camera... That is a must in the next month or so!

B.I.G Decisions

I don't even really know how to start this post. I've been thinking about updating on this subject for awhile and just didn't know how to express all the emotions and thoughts running wild through my mind. So I guess the best way is to just dive right in?

First of all, I'm so thankful for the support I've received during our struggle with infertility. From family (most of them don't know about this blog though), my online support from my IF girls and here in my blog. I am so thankful for the supportive comments and just knowing that there are people out there who have gone through it, understand it and always had supportive words for me when I was in the depths of my despair. It's truly a gift.

After much talking and thinking my DH and I have decided to end our journey with infertility and TTC. We have decided - at this point - to live child free. It hasn't been an easy decision, I don't know if it's the right decision, but for now it feels right. I feel an incredible sense of relief that is impossible to describe. I feel free. Please don't take this to mean that I don't care that I'll never be a mother - I do care, I care a lot. But it's out of my control. We've done as much as we, personally, are comfortable with both emotionally and financially. Who knows, someday we may reevaluate this decision and we have that option. But not now...

Yes, there will be hard days, there already have been. That is to be expected I think. The mourning period is long and I'm not sure I'll ever get over the loss of what we'll never have. It hurts that I'll never see a baby that has my nose and my DH's smile. Or feel the tiny kicks in my belly. Or have a cute baby shower to celebrate the new life we made together. Life isn't fair and I'm coming to terms with that. We'll celebrate in other ways I guess. It's all new to us so I'm still kind of navigating this new feeling.

In other updates: for some time now I have considered becoming an egg donor. I've "met" so many women online that benefit from donor eggs and I wanted to help others struggling with IF start families. Another bonus for me would have been that it I would know howI respond to the medications and see how many eggs they retrieve if we ever decideded to take the IVF route ourselves. I looked into it and after testing, bloodwork, and and appointment with an amazing therapist (I wish I could afford her myself!) I was approved. I was told I could be chosen tomorrow or not for months. I'm still waiting but when we decided NOT to pursue more treatments ourselves I wondered how I would handle the donation and had some second thoughts. I have decided that if I'm chosen I will still donate. I think it would be almost theraputic for me to help someone else have a family even if I'm not going to have my own. We will see where that adventure takes us if it happens...

So that's my update. So far, so good. :) My DH and I are excited to focus on the good in our lives. We're working on our relationship everyday and I think it will be strong again. We really are blessed even if it's not in the cards for us to have children. We'll be the fun Aunt and Uncle to our nieces and nephew and celebrate everytime we are blessed with more. I feel better and I think it's time to "get back to good", no matter how we get there - we need to get there!

A few things I'm looking forward to with our new decision (because I have to look at the positives right?): getting back to feeling 100% happy for pregnant friends. It's been years and I hope I can get back to that point. Not crying when AF arrives. This already happened this week - it honestly didn't bother me at all. No more charting, scheduling appointments around my cycle and evaluating every twinge in my ute. I don't care what CD it is and that is a nice feeling!

I'm thinking about changing the name of the blog but I'm not sure what yet. I want it to be a place for me to talk about our life as it is now, a place to vent when I'm having a bad day and of course to share the normal goings-on of a family of JUST two! Any suggestions?