Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Well, I did it - Sort of

I emailed my RE this morning for some recommendations for a counselor/therapist within my insurance guidelines. I asked for someone they have used, someone that is familiar with talking to women/men dealing with infertility. We'll see what they come up with. This morning has been rough so it prompted me to take the plunge...

It all started on the scale - Up 1/2 a pound which I hate. I guess I'm eating out of boredom at night since I'm lonely and I'm eating during the day to comfort myself? This is my reasoning right now and either way - I don't like it. I lost about 20 pounds 4 years ago and I do NOT want to gain even an oz back. I haven't really - yet - but I feel out of control which I don't like. Time to get focused on what food is for: nourishment for my body so I can run, lift, be active and enjoy life. NOT for entertainment or comfort.

Then I got stuck in a traffic jam on the way to work. There was an accident. So I called my "boss" to let him know I would be late and could he PLEASE be on time to open up the office? Guess who strolled in about the same time as me, being late? Surprise, surprise... I don't know why that gets under my skin so much.

Then the phone was ringing off the hook. I was stuck on a call with someone for 25 minutes. It started promising but to make a long story short this person wasn't honest with me and wasted every minute I spent on the phone. Double annoying.

Hmmm, what next? A misunderstanding with DH on the phone, one we can't even iron out since I'm at work and can't hash it out on the phone. Oh and we can't work it out tonight or tomorrow because he's working. This weekend? Nope, he's going out of town. ::sigh::

So my friends, do you see why I need to get into therapy ASAP? Looking at each of these things that nearly send me over the edge is actually embarassing. Who gets upset over those little things? Life isn't perfect and no day will be perfect. I guess someone who is struggling with depression would almost cry because of a morning like this? I don't know but I hope I can talk to someone soon that does...

Now I'm off to watch my email for an answer...

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