Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

There is an 85 pound Ridgeback in that pile of blankets on our bed!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Religion, God and IF

This post may get a little long and heavy so this is your warning... :)

I have been thinking about (questioning really) religion, and God more specifically, since our decision to stop IF treatments. And I'm kind of lost on how I feel about the whole issue.

A little background on me: I was raised Christian and attended church every Sunday growing up. We were there religiously (ha!) every Sunday through my highschool career. We were pretty involved in youth group, the whole bit. Then when I was 18 something happened to our family at church that made me question "church". I didn't question God but I really wasn't into the whole church vibe, atmosphere, people, etc. I stopped going and haven't been back except for holidays since. And the holidays where I attend are few and far between...

I do, however, believe in God. I just don't know exactly where that belief fits into my life. I guess I'm still angry and sad that MrHoppy and I aren't able to have children. I probably always will be to some extent right? I know, I know, life isn't fair, I understand that. You don't get everything you want in life. I know.

But wouldn't it be nice, since we're already dealing with the heartache and difficulty of IF, if we could catch another break? Like the funds to pay for treatments on our own... insurance that covers IVF... a surprise BFP... something?

What is that saying you always hear in church? "When God closes a door he opens a window?" Sometimes I feel like not only did he close and lock our door, he nailed all the windows shut as well!

My questions still linger: Why us? Why are 15 year olds, crack heads and child abusers blessed with children but 2 people that would be great parents aren't? And to go beyond myself I wonder why people are starving, sick and why so many are made to suffer so much. Again, I know life isn't fair. It's not perfect and never will be. I guess my question is why some people are made to endure so much more suffering than others. Not only is it unfair, it seems cruel.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm blessed in so many ways. But that doesn't mean my sadness and suffering over the loss of having children is any less real. And I wonder what I did to deserve it? Is this a test? A test of faith? Because if so, I think I got a big, fat "F". I still believe in God but very differently than I used to. I used to "trust" in him to take care of me and "guide" my life (church phrases people!). Not so much the case anymore. I believe he is there, he created the world and everyone in it. But I guess I feel like I'm on my own to make my way in this life. That God just kind of sits and watches. Does that make any sense at all?

I wonder how people keep their faith after so much disappointment and heartache. Sickness, death and suffering. Bad people doing bad things to innocent people. I'm actually in awe of them. With everything so out of our control does it give them comfort to believe that a higher power is looking after them? Maybe I wish I could be that way but all IF has done for me is make me feel alone, isolated and out of control. And sad. God I'm so sick of sad...

Please don't take this post as a pity party for myself. I really am doing well day to day. The feelings do sometimes creep in and surprise me though. As MrHoppy and I are finding out - you can't predict when it's going to happen!

So that's where I'm at with God. I wondered if I should even write this post. It's such a downer post, and for that I apologize. But, as all my fellow IF'ers know this is a roller coaster of emotions. I'll always be IF, that won't change.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Whirlwind Christmas!

A belated Merry Christmas to you all!

We have been going nonstop since last Wednesday, the 22nd. I spent the morning at my new gym (LOVE!) and then spent the afternoon with my sister and adorable nephew shopping. MrHoppy and I were prepared for the first round of his family we had coming into town that night. It was a late night full of catching up, eating, drinking (too much) and laughter.

Thursday started with a headache and a morning spent with my sister-in-law. The men-folk were out pheasant hunting so they were gone by the time we woke up.We lounged around and I whipped up some delicious breakfast burritos. After we finally showered for the day we went to get pedicures. Ahhh I loved it. I was in dire need of one as well! The guy who did mine gave me the most amazing foot/calf massage. Then we decorated cookies and got to baking! I was actually into the baking this year. Weird right? And can I just say that it's pretty easy to entertain a very sweet 14 year old. She is not the typical teenager - still very sweet and innocent so we had a great day together!

Christmas Eve-day was spent preparing our delicious dinner feast. The beer and wine were flowing, the family all arrived and our tree was overflowing with presents. 10 of us fit perfectly at our table (after adding a folding one to the end!) and dinner turned out perfectly. We had an amazing night. We opened gifts with my family and it was fun for the 2 families to catch up. We all get along so well which is amazing. The ONLY downfall of the night was when poor MrHoppy started feeling sick. Like really sick. Like he's starting ANOTHER colitis flare and he had to go to bed sick. I was sad, I cried because I was so worried about what another flare might mean for us and the coming months...

But... he woke up Christmas morning feeling much better. We put together our amazing quiches and got to work opening presents with his Dad, step-Mom, brother and sister. Everyone has been so generous this year and we all got amazing gifts. I felt really blessed to be part of their family. MrHoppy was getting pretty antsy by the time we finished brunch so we decided to take the dirt bike out for a ride in the fields by our house. We had fun, just the 2 of us. No falls and I got to practice more. His Dad wasn't feeling well that day (he has colitis too) so we just relaxed, played games and watched Christmas Vacation. My favorite holiday movie for sure!

Sunday morning they all left super early to catch a flight to WA to visit MrHoppy's sister, husband and their 4 week old baby, my new niece J. By 11AM his Mom and step-dad arrived and we opened presents with them and had brunch. Then we got to sit in club-level seats for the Bronco game! And our beloved Broncos came back for a 4th quarter win. It must have been a Christmas miracle! :)

And I'm not going to lie - I am really glad to have our house back. It's a lot of work to entertain and have houseguests for that long! I was so busy I didn't take many pictures. I'm so mad at myself and bummed but I'm hoping that I'll get some email photos from family. I do have a few that I'll get to posting tonight or tomorrow. Once I catch my breath... :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A Fresh Start

I've been begging MrHoppy to come with me to check out a new gym. I won't even get into the laundry list of reasons I loathe our current gym but suffice it to say that it SUCKS. It's small, crappy equipment, broken equipment, gross people... I could go on, and on, and on....

But I won't! I'm going to rave about the new gym we joined on Saturday, woo hoo! I'm pretty stoked about it - if you can't tell already. It's a real-life big girl gym! There are over 150 classes offered per week with no extra charge, 3 swimming pools, hot tubs, steam rooms, saunas, volleyball, basketball, climbing wall, tons of cardio equipment, spinning, yoga, hot yoga, pilates, a spa, a health food cafe... Hmmm what else? There really is more and I can't think of it right now.

And for this gym rat it's a dream come true. My new happy place I think (hope).

The only bummer is that I had to opt out of my carpool. The gym is located between our house and work. So I'll be going either before work or right after. So the carpool thing wasn't going to work out anymore. I feel bad but I have to do what's good for me. And this is going to be soooo good for me! Since I'm still carpooling this week I haven't had a chance to work out there yet. MrHoppy went yesterday and is going today and said I'm going to LOVE it! I can't wait!

Oh I guess there is another bummer.... Our stupid current gym has a 30 day cancel policy. We are billed on the 26th of every month so I went in last night (the 20th) to cancel it. Pay for December and call 'er good since January 20th is before our billing date. Oh no, of course it can't work out like that. She said their billing is on the 1st, it just doesn't come out for everyone on that day. Seriously??? What a crock of shit. I didn't argue, I just signed the damn form and left. Because I am done there.

And ready to start fresh at my new gym! MrHoppy is mad already (and somehow this is all my fault?) so we'll see if he calls them to talk about it. My guess is he'll just fume about it for a day and let it go. That's about all we can do right?

Since today is my last day of work this week (hooray!!!) I'm going tomorrow. I already picked a morning class that will give me time to run afterward and maybe sit in the sauna before my day really starts.

Friday, December 17, 2010

It's a Christmas Miracle!

This morning it snowed! Granted it was over by noon and we had ZERO accumulation but I was excited to sit in my office and (finally) watch the flakes fall. It's cold today too so it's starting to feel a little bit more like Christmas... :)

This was taken with my iPhone so you can't see it very well but it was snowing! Ignore the bland and dreary view from the reception area of our office!
I'm also pleased to report that my annual meeting at work - the one where we review the year and discuss a raise - went pretty well. I think we've ironed out a few kinks and though I had to come down a bit from my original request I think my 2nd negotiation might go through. We shall see. It would be incredibly helpful indeed!

I'm feeling better today - perhaps because it's Friday? Things don't feel as bleak and unorganized which is always a good thing. I think we're staying in tonight with cocktails, the fire, our pups and a movie. Tomorrow the Christmas running around begins!! Grocery shopping for the family staying at our house next week, a Christmas party and we'll also pick up a prime rib from Rock Bottom for our Christmas Eve feast! Sometimes it really pays to know people in the restaurant industry!

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

(Trying to Be) Thankful on Thursday


I'll be honest and just say that I'm not feeling the whole thankful spirit thing today. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm just feeling so blah.

Honestly - and this is really hard to say - I think I need to go back and see my counselor. I am feeling "not myself" again and it's really bothering me. I'm kind of all over the place in my mind and so I think talking to her will help. MrHoppy and I discussed this last night and I think I'm going to go and we'll do some sessions together. I'll start back up after the first of the year.

I guess a lot of it is stemming from a feeling of discord and indecision I've been experiencing in my life lately. Big decisions have been made and now small(er) decisions are going to be made. Here is one subject I've been mulling over in my mind: The house situation.

- We bought and moved into our house in 2006 with the idea we'd live in the 'burbs, start a family and live our life in bliss. 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, big yard, 3 car garage, 2.5 kids, 2 dogs... You know the "American Dream". It was perfect for us with plenty of room to grow. Well come to find out, our family isn't going to grow. This is it. And now when I think about the sleepy city we live in and our house I just want change. I want to move back to the city, get a smaller house and be close to museums, restaurants, shopping, bars,  ACTIVITY for the love of God!

- The housing market is making it tough for us to make a decision. I'm afraid to pull the trigger. We got our house for a steal and have done a lot of upgrades (built a huge deck, finished the basement, etc) and I would like to make some money back on those things. It's such a gamble - I've seen houses sell in our neighborhood recently for more than we paid for ours and also for much less.

- We don't want to wait indefinitely to make our move. Who knows when the market will come back? So maybe we should sell, hope for a tiny profit (if any), pray we don't have a loss and get the hell out? Due to MrHoppy's previous medical bill disasters it's going to be hard to get a loan in this climate. So we could sell, rent a cute house in the city and save money for a down payment. In the meantime really narrow down the neighborhoods we love and find our forever home in the city?

Wow that got really long. See what I mean? I don't know what to do. And if we are going to stay in our house I want to keep making upgrades and redecorating since I'm really enjoying that. But if we're going to move it's going to be a waste of time (and money).

I absolutely love our house but it has become another reminder of the family we'll never have. I'm bored where we live and there isn't anything for young couples to do really.

Any advice? What would you do?

Oh and today I am MOST thankful that I get to leave work at 3:30! Our poor Ridgey has to get the staples removed from her foot so Mama gets out of work early! Hopefully they say everything has healed great (minus the tendons for course) and it goes fast so I can hit the gym and work out some of this tension!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

All I Want for Christmas

Every single time a family member asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year I was stumped. I couldn't think of anything I wanted. Or perhaps I should rephrase that... I couldn't think of anything that was in anyone's budget for me!

So MrHoppy gave his family ideas for me - I haven't a clue what he said. And my Mom already had my present so she didn't need any ideas - what could it be?! Needless to say I haven't a clue as to what I'm getting for Christmas! And that rarely happens!

I thought it might be fun to list everything I want for Christmas (or for any other reason!) that is super expensive, so over the top and  SO never going to happen! Why not? This is just a list people. 99.9% of these things won't ever materialize!

And this is purely a "things" list. We all know something else I would love to have but that one is 100% out of my control. :)

1. Loads of money. Winning PowerBall perhaps? Of course this is number one! I could have my #1 wish and everything else on my list if this one came true!

2. A real-life, flashy and high tech big-girl camera. I haven't a clue how to use one but I really want to take a photography class along with a new camera. I think it would be a fun hobby.

3. The super cute Duvet Cover I found on etsy. I couldn't spend that much on a duvet but I love it!

4. Veneers. Or braces. I have a weird thing about my teeth, aka I hate them. I had braces for years and they aren't looking as straight as they once were...

5. A breast lift and augmentation. A girl can dream right? If I'm not having kids I might as well be vain and look great right??

6. A brand new Tahoe. For some reason I love the look of them right now!

7. An entryway table/bar for a space in our house.

8. The time, means and money to do all the redecorating I have in mind.

Oh hell, I want a new house too. See #5... If we're not going to have children I want to move OUT of the 'burbs and back into the city!

What's on your list? "Real" list or "dream" list?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas - Hoppy Style

I took some pictures of our Christmas decor - finally! I still haven't mastered the flash with this new camera we purchased last month. I'm not 100% happy with how the pictures turned out because of it. They don't do our holiday home justice! Because it's really cute and cheerful in here. I'm typing away now with the tree and candles lit and the fire going. I'm warm and toasty!

Our fireplace - Don't mind the table and cord on the right, we rearranged since I took this one

I painted these letters and used a glue gun to attach them to ribbon to hang them. Turned out pretty cute!

This is the wreath on the door leading to the basement

An old bell wreath on the door leading to the garage

I attempted to make this little "tree" with branches cut from a tree in the backyard. It looks better in person!

Our little tree. We use ornaments we've had all our lives so there isn't a theme but each one means something to us which I love

The greenery and ornaments above the cabinets in our kitchen. The lights were added recently by MrHoppy. Doesn't it look pretty?

 And I couldn't resist adding some other pictures....
He is turning into a little man!

Auntie and O-Town

Frigid Bronco game. Nope, we didn't win. We watched damn Sam Bradford and the Rams stomp our Broncos!

Monday, December 13, 2010

I'm Dreaming of a...

Brown Christmas?!

Not a flake of snow on the ground and 60 degree temperatures? I think not.

The trees, grass, flowers and plants know that it's Winter... The leaves fell, the flowers died. I guess nature didn't get the message and is giving us unseasonably warm weather? But it's hard to enjoy when the whole world is brown. Waiting for the snow and moisture we're supposed to be having this time of year...

Which is driving me bat-shit-crazy. I look at the weather every morning and there isn't any change in our forecast. Just 50s and 60s and dry as a chip.

I'm a seasons girl. I like the changing weather and I expecially love having snow this time of year. It just puts me in the Christmas spirit. The mountains have been getting dumped on. They have gotten over 100% of their usual amount of snow in just 10 days this month! So when is that snow going to make it over the tunnel, down the pass and into my life??

I guess we'll walk around our neighborhood looking at Christmas lights on Christmas Eve in shorts and t-shirts? Or maybe it will be a Christmas miracle and we'll get some snow! After all, this is Colorado right?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Thankful on Thursday

Today I am thankful for Usher. Usher you say? Like an usher in a wedding??

No, not that kind of usher! That sexy man with the rock hard abs? That Usher.

Is this something random to be  thankful for? Maybe, but once you have seen my adorable nephew holding my (precious) iPhone 4 and dancing to "Oh My God" for the entire song... You would be thankful too. It's simply one of the cutest things I will ever witness.

We babysat last night and had such a good evening with that little angel. I tried to capture him dancing on video but didn't get anything to write home about. It was too dim in our house (due to the fact that the only lights we have on lately are Christmas lights!), so when MrHoppy got up to turn on the overhead light he was distracted. Then he was distracted by me following him with the camera. And then he was too busy chewing on said iPhone to keep dancing.

I will get it on video. It's my new goal. It's so cute. Something everyone should see. He definitely has the same taste in music as my sister. :)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

It's a Small World After All...

I had an appointment with the imaging department of my Dr office this afternoon to figure out why I have this sudden mid-cycle bleeding going on. After checking in I was taken back to the room by a super nice tech. You know how you can just tell when someone is a genuinely nice person? She was one of them.

She went over my chart and asked me about all the IF stuff we've done. She was really compassionate and interested in my history with IF, which isn't always the case in the medical world.

Sidenote: Sadly I've had experiences with general nurses and doctors that know nothing about the world of IF. One that particularly stands out: I had food poisoning a couple days after an IUI. They took blood and the nurse (who meant well) could not understand that I still had the trigger in my system and kept insisting that I was pregnant. Um, not possible yet, I promise. She literally ran into my room and yelled "you're pregnant!". Even after I explained everything to her I could tell she still thought I was pregnant. There was no talking her out of it so I gave up and just went back to my vomiting. :)

Anyway... the tech then told me that they call her daughter the "million dollar baby". She said that they had been through the IF wringer and that after NINE (no, not a typo) IVFs they were finally able to conceive their daughter. I was speechless, here I am feeling sad about the money spent and heartache endured on our 6 measly IUIs and she went through so much more.

And I felt a camaraderie there in that ultrasound room. We are not alone. We may feel like we are at times but there are so many other couples struggling with IF. It's such a silent struggle which will always frustrate me. I've been more open about our IF and I will continue to be. How else will people learn about it and understand that it happens all the time, to people they know? It was good to meet another IF'er, good to know that I'm not alone.

Oh and everything was fine - she couldn't see any physical reason for the spotting and bleeding. Which is the good news. The bad news is that it's probably just hormonal and there won't be much they can do except put me on birth control. Which I don't think I'm into... We shall see what my gyno says when she goes over the results!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Florida - Better Late Than Never

I finally sat down tonight and downloaded the pictures we took in Florida. It's been a month since we've been home so I'm just a tad bit slow... But better late than never right?
Like they never spent a day apart!

We arrived on a Wednesday and were picked up in Orlando by M, one of MrHoppy's college roommates. We love M and hate that we live so far apart. We drove the 2 hours to the house he purchased this year with his fiance, R. We hadn't met R and I just knew from what I heard about her we would be fast friends. I was right! The 4 of us had a great time while we stayed with them. The wedding was Saturday and was absolutely beautiful!
Rehearsal Dinner
Rehearsal Dinner
Fire pit in Florida with our friends!

Helping at the reception site

Brady and I (M's son) who I absolutely loved spending time with
MrHoppy and me - he looks so handsome in his tux!

Reception - MrHoppy was the Best Man

R and I - Beautiful Bride!

Sunday morning first thing we drove to Daytona Beach to stay with my Grandma and Grandpa for one night. My Aunt and cousin that live in Jacksonville came down for the day so we got in some fun family time. We were so exhausted from all the partying we did the last few days we slept 12 hours that night! It's very quiet at my Grandma's house... :) We walked on the beach Monday morning with her and took her to lunch at a crazy sandwich shop with a giant gorilla on the wall. Delish!

My Granda and me walking on Daytona Beach

Monday afternoon we headed to DisneyWorld. I was so excited, I hadn't been in years. And I've never stayed at one of the hotels there. Our reservations were at the Port Orleans resort, right on the little river. After checking in we rode the ferry to Downtown Disney and hung out all night at an Irish Pub we found. I don't know what it is about us and Irish Pubs... They get us everytime!

On the boat to Downtown Disney

Tuesday we got up early (barely, it was rough!) and hit the Magic Kingdom. We had a fabulous day - it was the perfect time of year to go apparently. No lines and no crowds. Anyone who knows MrHoppy knows how he feels about crowds. He gets stressed! We went out that night again in Downtown Disney (why not, it's vacation!) and went to bed a bit earlier than the night before.

Magic Kingdom!
Then it was time to head home. The week of vacation we waited so long for just FLEW by. It was great though. I love to travel.

Monday, December 6, 2010

How a Piece of Metal Ruined my Saturday

Picture it: A somewhat warm December day in sunny Colorado. Mr and MrsHoppy decide they are going to get a lot done outside before it gets too cold. Hang Christmas lights, scoop dog poop, trim the bushes and cut back all the roses lining the deck. Sounds innocent enough right? Right? RIGHT???

Since we had planned to attend the Parade of Lights in Denver that night MrHoppy got to work in the front hanging lights while I was in the back taking care of the yard work. I was actually really enjoying myself. I could just picture how beautiful our house would look when it was finished and it finally got dark. And how great it would feel to get those pesky Winter chores I've been putting off out of the way.

Bisa and Gizmo were hanging in the back with me all day. They started to get wild so I was smiling to myself while they played, running back and forth. "They love each other so much" I thought. "It's so nice they can play even with the huge size difference".

And then I heard a HUGE yelp. MrHoppy heard it from the front yard. I turned around and saw our big girl limping to the deck, holding her rear right paw up off the ground. S-H-I-T. I knew right away what happened. While running around she caught her foot on the metal edging. The cut was already bleeding by the time I got to her. MrHoppy burst into the backyard and knew exactly what happened too.

How do we know this you ask? My Dad's dog had the same injury in March. She severed every tendon in her foot on the edging in his yard and had to undergo a $2,000 surgery and 8 week recovery. It was deja vu since I was the one that found his dog and took her to the vet when she was injured.

I immediately started crying, ran inside, grabbed a paper towel so we could try to see how bad it was. Ummm, it was bad. We could see white which I thought was bone but MrHoppy assured me was her tendon - still where it should be. So we were hopeful.

I called the vet in our town that is open until 5PM on Saturdays (thank GOD) and we rushed her there. They were busy with emergencies so we had to leave her and they said they would call with an update as soon as possible. I cried the whole way home. I just knew it was going to be bad. I felt like we would never catch a break. To my surprise they called an hour or so later and said she was ready to come home. No tendon or muscle damage but it did take 3 staples to close her up. She was bandaged but just fine. She was to wear the bandage until Sunday night.

I was SO relieved. You can't imagine how bad I felt thinking about surgery, $2,000, a long recovery for my baby. Because that's really what they are to us - our babies. I didn't mind that we missed the parade. I would much rather have my girl home, safe and sound.

Fast forward to Sunday night. Time to remove the bandage. I was horrified when I removed it and saw that one of her toes was not the way it should be. Just laying flat against the ground. And then I looked closer and the 2 outside toes were just not right. At all. Just like my Dad's dog whose toes never healed perfectly after her surgery. But worse. I cried again. I knew the tendon had been severed and they missed it. I also knew there wasn't much that could be done. 

This morning I took her back to the vet. They confirmed that at least 1 tendon was severed, the toe pretty much isn't attached to the functioning foot. The outer toe is damaged as well. I was so upset but felt better when he assured me it shouldn't cause her any long-term problems. He said surgery would probably do more harm than good. Tendons are like rubber bands so the end could be pretty far up into her leg. They didn't advise it. It's also a good sign that she's already walking on it and adjusting. It just looks so weird. 

It may be selfish but I want her to be OK for me also. She is my running partner. Mostly in the Summer but we both look forward to our runs together. If she isn't able to do that anymore after we see how she heals I'll be devestated. I've been emotional about it. I feel guilty that we didn't take out all the edging in our yard after what happened to Schatzi. I feel like it's my fault. And I also feel like we can't catch a break. I thought we had on Saturday with the initial vet report. But I guess we didn't. I'll just keep hoping it heals well and I have my girl back in the Spring. It may look funny but if she can use her foot normally, that's OK with me. 

Friday, December 3, 2010

TGI Frickin' F and a little TMI

How about all those acronyms? :)

I am sooo glad the weekend is almost upon us. Only 1.5 more hours until 5PM. Can I make it?? This week has flown by but the individual days are dragging.

We finished decorating the house last night! It took longer than usual with the extra little projects I came up with, but it was really fun. It was nice to spend the last two nights with MrHoppy at home. And as you all know - we needed it. No distractions, nothing else going on. We enjoyed it and when we laid on the couch, exhausted, to watch a few precious moments of TV we ended up admiring our work instead. I can officially say that I'm finally in the holiday spirit! Hooray!

And then we laughed the next 30 minutes away at Michael Scott on "The Office". :)

I took pictures but just couldn't get them right in the lighting. So I'm going to take some daytime shots tomorrow and then try again with some night shots where everything is lit up. I didn't have the energy to mess with it last night. But I am really happy with how it turned out. Since Christmas will be at our house this year it was important to me that it feel festive.

Caution! In other VERY TMI news (stop reading if you don't want to hear about what's going on in my body right now!)...

The last few cycles I have been spotting from about CD10-CD15. Which has never happened to me in the 15 or so years since I "became a woman". I repeat, never. I ovulate regularly so I figured it was a little bit of spotting from that. But each month seemed to be a bit worse, a bit longer and a bit more heavy. Yucky. Who likes to practically go back on their period when it just ended?! Not me!

Well last night I was doing the dinner dishes and just froze. I felt a huge gush and ran for the bathroom. I was bleeding so bad. It really freaked me (and MrHoppy) out. I had to sit there while he ran to the upstairs bathroom to get me a change of undies and a tampon. Seriously? He made me promise to call my Gyno this morning. And being the great wife that I am I followed through even though the bleeding has pretty much stopped. Not really even any spotting today.

Earlier this year my RE thought he saw a polyp in my ute - "nothing to be concerned about as far as getting pregnant or having it affect my life" he said. So it didn't even cross my mind until my nurse read through his notes (after asking if I could be pregnant, had I taken a test, etc? Uh probably not lady!) and saw that the little polyp was mentioned there from all the hot dates I've had with the vag-cam. She said it's nothing to be concerned about - since I'm in great health they want to do a pelvic ultrasound (vag-cam) on Wednesday and see what's going on in there. She doesn't think we need a biopsy or anything so that's good news.

So that's the update on my reproductive system. It's been a long time since I've talked about the old ute, ovaries, tubes and eggs huh? Kind of weird!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

This Article is Worth 2 Posts in 1 Day!

MrHoppy called me on his way to work today to tell me about an article he read over his morning coffee today. I thought it was spot on and so worth the read.

We aren't alone!

I don't think it's clicky and don't have time to mess with it but just copy and paste in your browser, it should work just fine!

Thankful on Thursday

I have been thinking a lot this week about what to write about for this post. It's been a tough week, I'll be honest about that. Hell, it's been a tough year! It's been hard on our friends and family who grieve the loss of our dream to be parents along with us. And I haven't felt very thankful. But there are a lot of things I DO have. And I need to be better about focusing on those things.

So in the spirit of Thankful on Thursday...

I am thankful for my health. In general I think I take it for granted. I know first hand after seeing MrHoppy struggle with his crazy ulcerative colitis how hard an ongoing health problem can be. What a toll it can take on your everyday life.

I am in great shape, I exercise almost daily, I eat well and I take care of myself. But I've also been blessed with good health. I don't suffer from any ailments (other than sciatica) and I don't get sick often. It really is something to be thankful for - even if I don't think about it on a daily basis.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Getting into the Christmas Spirit

I haven't felt very Christmas-y this week. Maybe it's just the strain from Sunday night with MrHoppy? Perhaps I feel different deep down since this is our first Christmas without the prospect of ever having a family? Last year I knew we had more IUIs in our future. We had discussed IVF and even the possibility of travelling to Costa Rica for IVF. Either way - the option was still there. This year it's not. And I think I feel both relief and disappointment... At the same time. Such is the way it goes with my constantly confused emotions I suppose right?

Normally I love this time of year. I love when our house is decorated - inside and out. I love cuddling under a soft blanket and watching a movie with the smell of our seasonal candles burning. The glow from the fireplace warming the room, and the pups laying in front of it of course! Christmas lights twinkling from the tree which has tons of unopened presents underneath it. But we haven't even put away our Fell decorations yet. And I'm tired of them. Who still has a Fall wreath on the front door in December? This girl!

That is all going to change tonight. After the gym and a quick shower MrHoppy and I decided we are getting into the Christmas spirit! We are going to decorate the inside of the house. We are going to have Christmas music playing, candles burning and the fire roaring. We are going to enjoy it if it kills us! :) MrHoppy already said that he's going to try to get all the lights hung outside on Saturday. Keep your fingers crossed it isn't too cold!

Really though, I am looking forward to it. With my renewed interest in our home and decorating I have some new ideas to try and we purchased a few things to spice up our current decor a few weeks ago. And I have decided I'm not using something unless I really like it. Why put things out that I just feel "eh" about?

He and I still need to talk. We haven't seen each other since our fight on Sunday night. His schedule at the beginning of each week is opposite mine so not seeing one another for a couple days isn't unusual for us. Plus it's not really a conversation we can have while I'm at work and my co-irkers can hear every word I say! We have talked though, a little bit. And I'm not as mad as I was Sunday, or even Monday. He has taken care of a lot today on his day off and I appreciate that very much. I love him and he needs to know and feel that. BUT (and this is a big but) some things need to change. We need to figure out a solution that we're both comfortable with.

So I hope in the midst of our decorating extravaganza we can talk. Open and honest communication is so important. My sister was honest with me Monday night and said she it tired of seeing me sad. She said we need to fix this or make some decisions. And I agree with her. I'm just not sure how we'll go about that yet. We shall see!

Oh and I'm going to take pictures of us decorating. And of course pictures of how everything turns out. This blog needs some more pictures so I need to stop being so lazy about downloading them!

How do you get into the Christmas spirit?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I'm an Auntie again!

My new niece arrived yesterday! November 29th, 2010.  I don't have many details yet - all I know is that Jade Elizabeth weighed in at 7lbs, 6oz and that Mom and baby were both doing fine. Oh and that she had her first poop on my MIL -which she (of course) loved!

Gotta love the details we get from MrHoppy's family huh? Granted, they live out of state and I'm sure they are a just a tad busy but still... We are an excited Aunt and Uncle! But I don't want to bother them (yet) so I'll hold off on requesting details until... ummm... tomorrow maybe? :)

And there is definitely a Skype session in our near future!

I have only received ONE picture so far and it was a just a text. You can't tell what she looks like but I have to post something! So here she is, brand new to this world! I can't believe I have to wait until May to meet her in person... :(

And I would say my SIL looks pretty fabulous for just having a baby wouldn't you?!

Monday, November 29, 2010

From thankful to confused

Today is just a dreary and sucktastic day. After such an awesome weekend I'm bummed out that I'm in this state of mind. And all because of one stupid fight...

MrHoppy surprised me Saturday with club level seat to the Bronco game for yesterday. Very sweet and thoughtful. Are the Broncos any good? Nope. Do I still LOVE going to sporting events? Yep. Win or lose I always have a fantastic time. So I was super excited that we got to go to another game. It was supposed to be cold so we planned to be up early and dress warmly!

We had a great day. Hung out with friends and watched our Broncos get beat - again! We shivered in our seats and borrowed a blanket to stay warm. There was even a little flurry that was so isolated over our section I didn't believe it was real! But I didn't care, I was having a fun day with my husband and it was so nice to have a 4 day weekend to get things done and get in a little R&R.

Then we got home and got into a stupid fight. I'm not even going to get into it, it was that stupid. It was short and loud - like our fights always turn out. But MrHoppy broke something of mine on purpose and it sent me over the edge. I wasn't even mad, I was just done. I went upstairs, put on my pj's and crawled into bed. I had clothes in the washer, clothes in the dryer and some picking up to do since we had just eaten dinner. But I didn't care. I just closed the door with the pups and cried.

I didn't cry for long. I laid there and wondered "how did I get here"? How did I wind up uphappy and how did he wind up stressed and frustrated? How long will IF take a toll on our relationship? When will we handle our emotions better and avoid blow outs that don't have anything to do with what we're fighting about anyway?

Then the confustion set in. I wondered "how do I get out of here?" Which was a really scary thought. I wondered how I could just walk away from it all and start over. Or go to sleep and not wake up. Would that be so bad? Don't get me wrong - I love him but sometimes I feel very trapped. I feel like I'm stuck somewhere I don't necessarily want to be. Not moving forward and not moving back. I hate saying it and debated even writing this post. But it doesn't do me any good to keep the way I'm feeling bottled up inside.

Is this all stemming from IF? Maybe, but regardless, I need to deal with it. We both do. Perhaps it's time to schedule another appointment with my counselor. And I think we need to go together. IF isn't the only thing bothering me. I'm frustrated with his career (lack thereof really), schedule at work, and other things I can't even think of right now. When he sets something down and scratches the mantle I painstakingly painted and I feel like screaming (but don't) - I'd say we have a problem. I don't blame him for feeling like he can't do anything right. I treat him that way sometimes which isn't fair at all.

What do I do? Where do I start? How do I keep myself from jumping on a plane and never looking back? I hate being here...

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

We'll be at my in-law's house all day tomorrow so I won't have time to blog. So I'll do my thankful post a day early mmm-kay?

I've been emotional this week for some reason (kind of not like me) and I wonder if it has to do with the holiday? I think I'm still coming to terms with our recent decision and it's still affecting me more than I let on. Even more than I admit to myself. But I think that's to be expected, don't you?

But in the spirit of Thanksgiving I'm going to focus on what I do have. And that is a lot...

This year I'm thankful for:

- a cute, funny, sexy, generous and irritating husband ;)
- a family that loves me
- my sister who is my best friend
- my nephew - need I say  more??
- our furbabies
- an awesome house that I really do love
- a stable job
- friends that have stood by me every step of the way
- the ability to travel often

And I'm also very thankful for the strength I never knew I had. The ability to keep moving forward even when my heart is broken.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Weekend Recap

Ugh, I still haven't downloaded our Florida pictures. It's driving me crazy but I feel like when I'm home lately I just don't think to do it! There are a few other little projects I've been working on so that's my story. And I'm stickin' to it. I'll do it this weekend after Thanksgiving.

This weekend was fabulous. We had the best plans - NO plans! So we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted.

Friday night I met my sister, brother in law and nephew for happy hour. Don't worry, we didn't have a "baby in a bar". We sat at a booth just outside the bar area. :) It didn't last long as O-Town was needing to get to bed. I went home and got a jump start on cleaning the house before MrHoppy got home from work. We've been cleaning on Friday nights lately and it's so nice to wake up Saturday morning to a clean house!

Saturday we shopped til we dropped. And didn't buy a thing for anyone else... We aren't in Christmas shopping mode yet. We are in we-want-to-shop-for-our-house mode. And that we did. We found lots of 50% off Christmas decorations at Hobby Lobby, stopped for nachos and a beer to re-fuel and then found a great new end table at Home Goods. It had a few blemishes so they gave us an extra 10% off the already low price. Score!

Sunday morning we got up early and went to my sister's house for breakfast. My nephew is so adorable and sweet and fun first thing in the morning. All smiles I tell ya. I love it. Look at this happy guy!
After breakfast we braved the grocery store... As did everyone else in our town! It was a zoo. But we were patient and got what we needed for 3 days of healthy eating before Thursday! While we were out we bought a Sunday paper so I could check out the sales for the week and Black Friday.

I was so excited when I saw JC Penny's had their window coverings on sale 40%-60% off! I've been looking for new curtains since we bought our furniture in September. I had an idea of what I wanted and just couldn't find it. Our house had a lot of brown so I wanted to lighten it up a bit. I found panels that were originally $60/panel. They were on sale and after the 15% coupon I had and a coupon from the paper I got them for $22/panel! SCORE! And not what I pictured in there but they look awesome. They add some color in a palatte that I'd like to accesorize in anyway. I'll get a good picture of them this week during the day. I took one last night at dusk and it just doesn't do that area justice.

All in all, a fabulous weekend. And we are SO looking forward to this week. Short work week and time spent with family. I'll take it!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Good Evening

Last night that is... :) MrHoppy and I haven't had an evening of just us in a long time. Where we just sit and talk, catch up and laugh with no interruptions. We finally had one last night and it was much needed. I loved it.

We talked about all my ideas for our house. Just little things to update it, change up our decor and make it exactly how we want it. I was surprised and so happy when he was totally on board. Most of the projects will be inexpensive but a little time consuming. And with most of them I'll need his help so it was important to me that he be interested and willing.

He was even more excited when I showed him some of the blogs I read about home renovations. So much so that he busted out the rope lights we've been storing in the garage and not using because all the brackets they attach to on the deck were broken... in one Summer... grrrr... annoying. But they came in handy anyway! He installed them above the kitchen cabinets so we have some mood-lighting in that room now! It was so quick and easy and really makes a difference.

Tomorrow we're planning to spend the day shopping for a few items. An entryway table or bar cabinet is first on our list. We know what we want and we aren't going to settle for less! Since everything needs to stay in budget we'll check out Home Goods, Gordman's, Hobby Lobby, Michaels, and even Goodwill. You never know what you'll find!

What is everyone else up to this weekend?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thankful on Thursday

Today (aside from just being thankful that the weekend is almost here!) I am thankful for my new hobby. It's not really a hobby yet since I've only made one thing but I'm hoping now that the weather is cooler I'll have more time to spend at my sewing machine.

MrHoppy understood how lonely and bored I was getting so when I suggested we find a used sewing machine on craigslist he was all for it. It doesn't hurt that my Mom is an amazing seamstress and knows all about them. How am I not already a pro after growing up with a sewing Mom?? I don't know, but I'm not. She was just as excited as I was when we found a practically new Brother machine close to home for less than $100! I snatched it up and immediately and bought all the things I would need to go with it for little projects.

And then it just sat there... and sat there... and I was busy...

Really I just needed help getting started. I had a pattern all cut out but didn't know where or how to start. So my awesome seamstress of a Mother came over and we made this little bag:

Isn't it cute? And it didn't cost me anything. She had lots of scrap fabric leftover from other projects and she let me have all of it. It's even lined in a cute yellow material. 

I quickly decided it was the perfect bag to store one of my other Winter hobbies...

Knitting! I started this scarf early this year and didn't finish it. I just don't knit when the weather is warm. So I'm going to be finishing it up and I think it will be a Christmas gift for someone. And I have to admit - the only thing I knit is scarves. One of the things I enjoy most about knitting is that I can do it while I watch TV, or zone out, or if I have a few down minutes at work. Making something more detailed would take way more concentration which kind of defeats the purpose for me. So for now, I'm happy just knitting scarves. :)
And I have pictures of the lining in my bag and the scarf I'm working on that won't download right now! Frustrating... What's up blogger?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Look what I got...

The Florida vacation post is coming - I swear. Our laptop was out of comission the last 2 days but MrHoppy promises it's in tip-top condition again now. I wouldn't even consider using the archaic desktop monster in the office... :::shudder::: I'll download pictures tonight after the gym!


I've posted recently about my new obsession with being (becoming) crafty and home decor. The obsession is only growing as Christmas approaches. I've found new blogs to follow that are centered around crafts and decorating and I'm loving it!

Ideas are running around like crazy-town in my head. I can't wait to try some of them. And my goal is to do everything myself so I don't spend a lot of moolah. Plus it will keep my busy on lonely nights right? We are hosting Christmas at our house with MrHoppy's family from out of town and I'm so excited. He's the man with a plan in the food department but I am the woman in charge of the decor. The ambiance if you will... So it's a big deal to me that the house look great!

Imagine my excitement when I opened the mailbox last night after work and saw this little gem:

I have heard people rave about it and decided to break down and spend the money this year to see what all the fuss was about. I'll be honest when I say I was the tiniest bit disappointed. I was expecting DIY overload. Pages and pages of decorating ideas that would work in my home. And there are some great ideas, don't get me wrong. Just not a lot that will work in my space. But I have lots of pages turned down - not to worry! I just need to put my style into it a bit more.

I'm trying to hold off on Christmas until at least ummm 8PM on Thursday, November 25th? I swear I am. Is that fair? I have even been trying to get to Hobby Lobby or Michaels this week to make a little something for our living room for Thanksgiving. I just can't seem to make it happen! The casa does look nice right now with the "Autumn" sign I have up, the pumpkins, candles, mums and pretty Fall wreath on the front door. Oh and not to mention my super cute corn stalks outside at the front door! I should have blogged about that project... A blog/picture plan for the weekend I suppose! Before it's all replaced with red, green, Santa and garland!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Life is unfair

I promise to post pictures and write about our Florida trip soon. We had a fabulous time and it was a much needed break. Today just isn't the day.

I just have such a sad feeling about life today. Some of the wonderful women I met on my support website have had terrible things happen to them in the last week or so. I don't want to be specific as it's not my place to write about their loss and heartache. But Thursday night I broke down in tears for one of them specifically when I checked in and saw her news. My heart felt like it was literally breaking. I was angry, sad, frustrated and just so tired of the terrible things that happen in life. How much can one couple be forced to endure? Why would life be taken that was so difficult and painful to create in the first place?

I'll say it again. How much can people take? Why do they have to? Because life isn't fair. I understand that we can't have everything that we want in this life. But it doesn't change the fact that I hate it, it makes me sad and I can't express the sympathy I feel for them in words.

I'm still getting over our loss. The loss of a dream. Missing a child we'll never meet, that never was. I'm still raw even if I'm moving on and doing better. Maybe that's why when these things happen I feel devestated?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Awww Crap

Literally. I think the universe hates me. Like hates my guts...

All day yesterday I was thinking about our trip. All I need to accomplish before we go - laundry, gym (twice!), packing, pedicure (done myself of course!), bank, pay bills and wrap things up at work. It all needs to be done today since we leave bright and early tomorrow morning!

So Monday at 5PM finally rolls around. I pick up my carpool and head home. I walk into the house and it hits me.

The smell of dog crap.

Let me tell you a little bit about Gizmo. He gets diarrhea about every 4 months. He has to be put on an antibiotic, probiotic and anti-diarrheal during these bouts. Oh and an expensive bland canned food. We don't know for sure why this  happens but it seems like it has his whole life. Sometimes he eats other dog's poop though... This could be the cause huh? We were at my sister's house on Sunday and he was outside quite a bit...

So anyway, I walk into our house less than 48 hours before we have to leave him with my parents for a week. I know the drill: walk around the house and find all the little piles of poo and clean them up. Why would he keep it in 1 area?? That would be way too easy. Pile #1 is in the guest room. Along with some vomit from the cat. So I clean all that up. Pile #2 is on our white bathroom rug. No biggie, easy to wash and he likes to poop there for some reason... Pile #3 is the biggest and it's in the living room. So after using the last of our carpet cleaner I think I'm done. I finally change for the gym and go have a good workout. This will be the highlight of my evening...

Before I go I give him all of his medicine including the anti-diarrheal. This stuff is crazy strong - our vet says if they poop through that there is something really wrong.

When I get home from the gym I still smell crap. I look all over the house and can't find anything. We have brown carpet though and let me tell you - the poop and the carpet are the SAME color. So I shower, eat dinner and go about my evening. While I'm doing laundry I sit down to give myself a pedi. I walk over to turn on the light and step in a little pile of poop. Barefoot of course, I'm about to do a pedi! So I'm pissed. I go upstairs, wash my foot and clean it up. I then realize our bedroom kind of smells too. I walk over to the window to open it and air out the joint when... Yep. I step in ANOTHER pile of crap. Barefoot. I'm near melt-down mode at this point but I wash my foot again and clean it up.

And poor Gizmo. He feels terrible. I know he can't help it and he is never punished when he is sick but that doesn't make it any less gross or any less annoying. At this point I figure I'm done and I go to bed. Screw everything else I have to do.

He wakes me up at 5:30 to go out. He seems to feel fine and I know he's not actually "going". He's just trying to go. But he was pacing around our room and driving me crazy so I let him out and waited patiently while he sniffed and "went". When we got up an hour and a half later for the day I fed him his bland food, gave him his medicine and went to the window BEHIND our chair in the living room to let in the glorious sunshine. Because it's a beautiful morning!

 And what did I do? Step in another God-forsaken pile of crap. With bare feet - again. Is this some kind of joke?? Now they are very small piles, the guy only weighs 12 pounds and got the big one out in the open where I could see it. But I'm really worried about leaving him with my parents while we go to Florida. I don't have a choice but I'm just hoping this medicine works fast and he's on the road to recovery today! I know all the "piles" were from yesterday while we were gone and I just couldn't find them all right away. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there aren't any new ones!

"I'm sorry Mom"

Gizmo looks sorry but that crazy cat Macie couldn't care less if I have to clean up her vomit! She's just going to lick and sniff her brother...

Monday, November 1, 2010

Monday Blues

I don't know what my problem is today - I guess I have a case of the Mondays? (LOVE Office Space!) I'm just grumpy and in such a bad place with work. After covering for 2 weeks alone and moving this office to a new location I'm just done. I need a break. And what does the boss-man do? Takes today off, as if he hasn't had enough days off in the last month, to golf. Leaving me here again. Alone. On a Monday. Yes, I know he's the boss, he can do what he wants. But we don't have another person to help cover when the other is gone. Which sucks. And I'm sorry, but it's not my responsibility to hire someone. I do everything else around here! Not to mention he'll be taking a 1/2 day tomorrow as well... Can you tell I'm grumpy yet?


The silver lining to all of this is that in 48 hours we'll be boarding a plane to Florida! I'm so excited to see our friends and my Grandparents but mostly I'm just excited to be away from work for a week. How sad is that?? Now if I can just get through the next 2 days...

So maybe it's just because it's Monday, maybe it's because today I hate my boss or maybe I'm just bored. I am incredibly bored with life at the moment. I need a change. But what? Let's hope a vacation is all I need! Right now I want to get in my car and drive away. And not look back...

Anyone else ever feel that way?

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thankful on Thursday

Today I am most thankful for good friends and family. I am so lucky to have amazing and supportive people in my life. We have been pretty open about our inability to have children and everyone has been fabulous over the 2.5 years we've been dealing with it. Two people/couples are specifically standing out to me today.

I'm thankful for my sister and brother-in-law who allow us to tag along to almost everything they do with their son. O is the closest thing I'll have to a child of my own and I cherish every moment I have with him. I'm thankful they are our "besties" and that they invited us to Cavalia last night. It was such an amazing show and I'm glad we got to experience it with them!

I'm thankful for my friend K. She always thinks to ask how I'm feeing about things as we continue on in this journey. She lives in another state and I was so excited to get a card from her this week. Just a little something to say she is thinking of us and she sent 2 pictures of her gorgeous daughter A. It is framed in my office next to my picture of O! I can't wait until they are living in CO again so we can see them as much as we want!

What are you thankful for today?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Do you know?

How dark it is this time of year at 6AM? I'm sure most of you do but I had forgotten since I'm not usually up that early! I'm not a morning person, I don't start work super early like I know some do. I prefer to start my day about 7AM...

In the Summer I usually get up once or twice a week at 6:30 to run outside with our Ridgey. She loves it and I love it too - once I'm up and finally awake that is. The sun was always shining brightly and it felt so good to be out in the warm, quiet morning. I try to work out 5 days a week and normally do so in the evenings (not a morning person, remember?). So when things come up after work and I plan ahead I workout in the morning.

Very different getting up to workout in the Fall/Winter! It's hard!

This morning my alarm went off at 6. I was confused - it was still dark as night, the heat hadn't kicked on yet and I was so comfy under the comforter and blankets! So I hit snooze and vowed I would be up in 10 minutes. And you know what? I was. I put on my sports bra, sweats and a t-shirt. I let out the dogs and got in the car to go to the gym. It was miserable out, I can't lie - dark, cold and SO windy (as it has been for the last 3 days here in CO...). There were a few other people at the gym and I actually got in a great workout! It was nice to watch the sun rise along with the other gym rats. I was there almost an hour and felt really refreshed when I got home and got ready for work.

Now I can enjoy my evening out. My sister got free tickets to a cirque du soleil-type show downtown and invited MrHoppy and I to join them for a double date night. We're going to meet at my parents house for dinner (they are watching the nephew) and head down together for the show. It starts at 8 so I know it will be a late-ish night but I am excited. The 6AM wake up call was worth it - work out is done, I feel good and I'm going to spend time with my 3 favorite people tonight!

Happy hump day!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Weekend Recap - Pumpkins and Fall Fun!

While the hubby was away this weekend I was busy! Friday night ended up being super fun. I went out downtown with my friend M and we got pretty drunk at "her" bar. We gossiped, stayed up late and just hung out. I was in desperate need of some girl time! Even with the late night I got up early Saturday morning (starving and with a pounding head) and made the trek home. My Mom came over and we did some painting in our house. I love the way the guest room turned out! The color is called "Tony Taupe" and it goes so well with the furniture and bedding in that room. I love the contrast with our bright white baseboards and doors. I ended up doing a few other little projects too. I found some sale Halloween/Fall decorations and put them up. Damn I'm productive when MrHoppy is gone! The rest of my night was spent lounging with a movie at home by myself. Sometimes you just need some alone time!

On Sunday my awesome sister and brother-in-law invited me to join them at the pumpkin patch! I am so happy to be included in these outings since we don't have children of our own to have these experiences with. It was so fun. A little windy (annoying), but fun.

This place is just a little family run patch, they had dogs running around, 2 donkeys, rabbits, a corn maze, a big blow up slide and of course the pumpkin patch itself. Since O is so little she didn't charge any of us the $10 fee and said we could do everything and she would just charge us for the pumpkins. Score! So we walked around, K took O down the slide a couple times while my sister and I watched and took pictures. I was SO mad we don't have a new camera yet. I used my iPhone as usual and got some cute pictures. They brought his Halloween costume for the pictures and I almost died from the cuteness...

 When we were done at the pumpkin patch we headed back to their house to carve our giant pumpkins. Did I mention that the owner only charged us $5/pumpkin? And they are SO big! I had printed some patterns on Friday at work and decided right away I would do an owl. I LOVE owls so it was fitting. I think he turned out pretty cute! This picture sucks because again, only have my iPhone and it was dark and lit up but the flash goes off no matter what I do in that light. But it gives you an idea of how cute it is. :)

This random picture was snapped last night as I was getting into bed. What is it you ask?

Oh that's my 85lb Ridgeback wrapped up in a blanket. She spends a few minutes every night getting her blanket arranged on her bed and crawling under it. Then we usually cover her up the rest of the way when we get into bed. Ridiculous right?! She curls up into the tiniest ball you have ever seen and stays that way all night. She is a silly girl... And that bed is not that big, I swear...

Friday, October 22, 2010


Hello, my name is MrsHoppy and I'm a prostitute.

Seriously, this is what MrHoppy said last night. It's all in good fun really but I guess I should explain myself...

Sometimes I'm not in the mood. At all. You know what I mean ladies. Not to mention I am on my period and oral sex is THE last thing on my mind. But MrHoppy was feeling frisky and going out of town and all... So I was pretty sure I could get something in return for his pleasure... I am so bad.

I am a bargaining type of gal, we've traded things for sexual favors in the past. But hey, it's OK, we're married for God's sake! Shoes, clothes, etc. There are things in my closet that have been the result of MrHoppy really "needing" something when I'm not in the mood. And let me just say that he gets laid all the time. It's not something lacking in our marriage and I swear, he will agree with this statement! These are rare occasions.

Last night was a perfect example of this. He came downstairs and asked what the chances were of him getting any "sexy time" before he left. A bloated, crampy and irritable MrsHoppy said "slim to none" and went back to my wine and the TV. Here is how the the conversation went after that:

MrHoppy sits down next to me and says: "how much will it cost me?"

MrsHoppy: "I'm a bargaining type of woman, what is the offer?"

MrHoppy: "how about a nice dinner with me?"

MrsHoppy: "nah, we always do that."

MrHoppy: "how about the money I left on your nightstand for paint for the guest room and going out Friday night?"

MrsHoppy: "that doesn't count, I was going to get it anyway. My manual labor in our house DEFINITELY doesn't count."

MrHoppy (getting flustered and desperate): "how about the jeggings you want from Express?"

MrsHoppy (totally amused at this point): "you already owe me those from a bet we made about Dexter 3 weeks ago and you still haven't paid up!"

MrHoppy (getting very desperate): "fine, how about a new dress for the wedding next month. $50 max though"

MrsHoppy: "SOLD!"

And you can use your imagination as to what happened after that. :)

$50 isn't a lot for a dress but I don't like to spend much on dresses anyway. I don't wear them often and I'm fine with going to Forever 21 or something for a dress I'll likely only wear one time. I'm hoping to get a day or afternoon off next week (since I've been covering work for TWO weeks by myself!) to go shopping. I'll get my dress and my jeggings and call 'er good!

Happy Friday everyone! Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

Thursday, October 21, 2010


I can't even tell you how ready I am for a vacation from work! And we confirmed all our details for our trip yesterday afternoon so I'm pretty excited!

We are going to Florida next month for one of MrHoppy's college roommates wedding. MrHoppy is in it (of course!) and we haven't seen "M" since 2007 so I'm really excited. We'll stay with them for 4 nights (along with another couple from college that I haven't met yet) and do all the fun wedding stuff with them. I haven't met his fiance yet and it sounds like she's pretty awesome. Likes to have a good time so we should get along great!

The day after the wedding we'll head North to spend the day and night with my Grandparents in Daytona Beach. One night is about all we can do - they have really become home-bodies (which is fine!) but we get bored there pretty quickly. We'll probably take them out to dinner and hang out. We'll spend the next day with them and then that afternoon head to DisneyWorld for 2 nights!!

With Grandparents that live in Florida I have gone to all the attractions there over the years. Magic Kingdom, Epcot, etc. But MrHoppy has never been! He's been to DisneyLand but I am kind of partial to DisneyWorld myself. :) We are staying at the Port Orleans Hotel and I'm pretty excited about it. I've never actually stayed at Disney so this is a first for me. We're planning to hang out Monday night, probably check out downtown Disney and the Boardwalk. We heard the House of Blues bar there is pretty fun so I'm sure we'll go there. Hit up some nightlife and then we'll spend all day the next day in the park. My personal favorite is Magic Kingdom so that's where I'd like to go. We'll see. Our flight leaves the very next afternoon so we'll have to fit in as much as possible for those 2 nights!

I just keep telling myself it will be here soon. It's getting me through work and all that we have going on until then. I really am excited - it will fly by but I can't wait!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Decorating - My New Obsession

I have had home decor on the mind the last few weeks. Like, seriously on my mind. Like, I lay in bed thinking about all the changes I want to make in our house! Funds are tight right now with a week-long vacation planned next month so I am just waiting. Waiting and obsessing about it!

I think what I'll end up doing is change one room at a time. Slowly.

Step one will be this weekend. I'm going to paint one of our guest rooms. It's a light green and I haven't liked it from day one. The hubby painted it when we moved in and when I saw it - I hated it. But he had put so much time and work into it I haven't changed it. But this weekend my Mom is coming over and we are finally getting rid of the green! I haven't bought the paint yet but I think it's going to be a very neutral brown. I might take a picture down in there too. I like the bedding so that's a plus... Then that room should be OK.

Step two will be in the living room. Next month I want to get new curtains and new end tables that match the new furniture we bought in September. We also have a large open area over our fireplace. It's hard to fill and right now I have a large potted plant there with some candles and framed pictures. There isn't anywhere to hang anything - it's just like a huge open shelf. I'd like to rearrange that - any suggestions anyone?? I'll try to take a picture of it and post it here so you know what I'm talking about.

Don't even get me started on our bedroom. I love the paint and bedding but the decor needs some serious help... And I have a serious budget. Daddy Warbucks is strict when it comes to this type of thing! :) So I'll just research and look at ideas online for now... More to come on this topic I'm sure!

We're trying to sell our big desk in our office as well. I have a table in there with my sewing machine so I want it to be more of an area for me. That will be one of the last rooms that I work on so I haven't thought too much about it yet...