Friday, July 16, 2010

Couples Therapy

Yesterday my DH and I had an appointment with my therapist - together. I was kind of nervous about it to be honest. She wanted to meet him after talking to me about all we've been going through with IF and how it's been affecting our marriage. She had a feeling he was as depressed as I've been but just not showing it (typical man right?). He was totally open to going which I was thankful for. Have I mentioned how much different he's been since our "blow-out" talk? That will be a whole seperate post but let me just say, it's been good, much better. :)

Anyway... We talked with her for about 45 minutes and I feel like we barely even touched on his feelings. I think there is a lot there that even he doesn't know about. He got teary a time or two when we talked about our IF and how it's "his fault". Also when he talked about how much he wants to have a baby with me... and here I go tearing up as I type this! The root of his feelings and guilt complex go back to him being a kid and feeling blamed or responsible for everything. There is too much detail to even get into but she said that he can change the way he thinks. It won't be easy but it will definitely benefit him in the long run. I want him to keep repeating "it's not my fault" until he starts to believe it!

When we were wrapping up she asked what we want to do for future appointments. DH was interested in making another one for us so I think we're going to continue going together. I like it, I feel like it's a "safe place" to say how we're feeling and have someone's opinion on it. Plus it's an hour of uninterrupted communication which is so important for us with our hectic schedules. She was so glad we've moved forward with our IUI and treatment plan for now. It was really important that we get out of that limbo stage we were in.

In other news we are heading to the lake tonight for the weekend to celebrate my Dad's 60th birthday! I can't believe he's 60 - and he doesn't look a day over 45. :) We'll have a fairly large group: my parents, my sister, BIL and nephew, Aunt, Uncle and 2 cousins, a couple of thier friends, and DH's Mom and stepdad are coming too. Should be a fun time, I'm hoping to get some good sun for this wedding we're in next week! I'll post pictures when we get home!

Happy birthday Dad, we all love you very much and appreicate everything you do for our family! This is an old picture from Sturgis but it's all I have here at work!


  1. Wow that is so great...I think it is awesome that you guys are willing to go there together. Therapy can be hard but will be so great for you guys and your marriage. Keep it up!