Moving Forward...

Slowly but surely we need to move forward. I say we but I really mean me, I think my DH is looking ahead instead of back. I've been in some kind of a hole of depression since Saturday's BFN. It probably doesn't look like it on the outside - but on the inside I'm not doing very well. All the feelings of being out of control and unhappy came flooding back. I guess that's what happens when your hope is - yet again - taken from you in an instant.

Questions are reeling in my mind... My mind is racing... I can't sleep... I feel anxious. It's time to call my therapist and make another appointment. As soon as I'm done here I will do that.

But, in moving forward news... I talked to my nurse yesterday and we're going to start 100mg of Clomid tomorrow, CD5-9. I have an u/s scheduled for 8/4 and then I realized something so annoying. We are going to be out of town 8/5-8/8 on my DH's annual family camping trip. One my DH organized and we can't miss. Family is coming in from out of town, the whole bit. So... I talked to my nurse again today and we're going to see how it plays out, timing-wise. Since we'll be gone I'm going to use OPKs (which will be interesting while camping...!) and if it's positive while we are gone we'll just do TI (sucktastic). If it's positive when we get back we'll do our final IUI (keeping fingers crossed for this!).

The positive is that we'll save $125 on a trigger shot this month, I've never had problems with OPK's before so I'm comfortable timing the IUI this way. The negative is that we'll have to cycle again next month if we miss the IUI because of being out of town. Just another month of meds, another u/s to pay for, more appointments and trying to time it around my birthday vacation in September which sucks ass.

We shall see how it all plays out and until then... all we can do is move forward.