Monday, July 19, 2010

Feeling Hopeless

I don't know why but today I'm just feeling like there is no way this is going to work out for us. Yesterday was kind of rough...

We were camping all weekend at the lake which was super fun (I'll post pictures tonight) but yesterday I woke up and my UTI is back. I've been so uncomfortable again, I guess the antibiotics I finished last week didn't kick it? I called my RE today since he's the one that ordered them last week and they wanted me to come in AGAIN to leave a urine sample. I haven't heard back yet but I need to get this taken care of right away since we'll be gone Wednesday-Friday in the mountains for a wedding. And I seriously DO NOT need another missed UTI that turned into a kidney infection like a couple years ago...

Then last night we attended the wedding reception of a good friend of mine from childhood and high school. We've know each other forever and the reception was beautiful! The only hard part was that all my highschool girl friends have either just had a baby or told me they were pregnant. One had her 4th boy in March, another had twins (her 3rd and 4th) last month and 2 others told me they are pregnant. I'm so happy for everyone and babies are such a blessing. But it's a blessing I'd like to have too, is that too much to ask? Seriously? Since I wasn't feeling well already we left kind of early.

On the way home we saw an accident involving a horse trailer. The poor horse was on the side of the road with a badly broken leg. I just broke down and cried. I was tired of holding in the emotion from the reception, tired of acting happy for everyone else. And I was honestly so sad for the horse, I hope he is OK. Then it turned into negative thinking about this IUI. I just keep thinking that what are the odds this will happen? Slim to none.

I know it's too early to get down but today is just an off day. I don't feel well, I'm tired and I'm ready for a long weekend. Now let's just hope that this UTI is taken care of so I can enjoy the long weekend with some of our best friends!!


  1. I happened upon your blog. I wish I could give you a big hug! I am a grandma of (almost) 2 and have a niece who is struggling with infertility. I can't explain how I know, but I have such a feeling that everything is going to work out for you. I know it must be hard to keep positive thoughts, so I will hold you in mine and pray for your blessing to come.

  2. Thank you so much for the comment, I hope you are right!