"Wait"

OK, I stole this poem from another blog this afternoon and it couldn't hit closer to home. For the last couple years and especially the last year I have really struggled with faith. I grew up going to church, I believe in God but after a few bad experiences in churches I haven't been a big fan of them... I still have my beliefs, I'm just not sure where God fits into my life. And church hasn't been part of my life in a long time. I ask these questions in my head over and over...

Why would God pick and choose who gets to be a mother?

Why do people that don't want children, neglect or abuse children have no trouble getting pregnant?

Why are some made to suffer so much more than others?

Why does a couple have to suffer through infertility, losses, losing babies born too soon? Even one of those things should be enough for one person...

But I like this poem. Here it is:

“Wait”

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried:Quietly, Patiently, lovingly, God replied. I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,and the Master so gently said, "wait""

Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why!"My future and all to which I relate hangs in the balance and you tell me to wait?

I’m needing a yes, a go ahead, a sign or even a no to which I’ll resign You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe we need but to ask and we shall receive

Lord, I've been asking and this is my cry: I’m weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate as my Master replied again, “wait.”

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut, and grumbled to God "so I’m waiting.... for what?"He seemed then to kneel, and his eyes met with mine...and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign."I could give all you seek and pleased you would be,
You'd have what you want but you wouldn't know me.You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair; you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.You would not know the joy of resting in me, when darkness and silence are all you can see.You'd never experience the fullness of love when peace of my spirit descends like a dove.

The glow of my comfort late into the night,the faith that I give when you walk without sight. The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask from an infinite God who makes what you have last.You'd never know should your pain quickly flee what it means that my grace is sufficient for thee.

So, be silent, my child and in time you will see that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me. And though often my answers seem terribly late,my most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

Sorry it's kind of all in a blob but you get the idea. Honestly, it brought tears to my eyes the first time I read it. I guess I'll just wait...