I'm an Auntie again!

My new niece arrived yesterday! November 29th, 2010.  I don't have many details yet - all I know is that Jade Elizabeth weighed in at 7lbs, 6oz and that Mom and baby were both doing fine. Oh and that she had her first poop on my MIL -which she (of course) loved!

Gotta love the details we get from MrHoppy's family huh? Granted, they live out of state and I'm sure they are a just a tad busy but still... We are an excited Aunt and Uncle! But I don't want to bother them (yet) so I'll hold off on requesting details until... ummm... tomorrow maybe? :)

And there is definitely a Skype session in our near future!

I have only received ONE picture so far and it was a just a text. You can't tell what she looks like but I have to post something! So here she is, brand new to this world! I can't believe I have to wait until May to meet her in person... :(

And I would say my SIL looks pretty fabulous for just having a baby wouldn't you?!

From thankful to confused

Today is just a dreary and sucktastic day. After such an awesome weekend I'm bummed out that I'm in this state of mind. And all because of one stupid fight...

MrHoppy surprised me Saturday with club level seat to the Bronco game for yesterday. Very sweet and thoughtful. Are the Broncos any good? Nope. Do I still LOVE going to sporting events? Yep. Win or lose I always have a fantastic time. So I was super excited that we got to go to another game. It was supposed to be cold so we planned to be up early and dress warmly!

We had a great day. Hung out with friends and watched our Broncos get beat - again! We shivered in our seats and borrowed a blanket to stay warm. There was even a little flurry that was so isolated over our section I didn't believe it was real! But I didn't care, I was having a fun day with my husband and it was so nice to have a 4 day weekend to get things done and get in a little R&R.

Then we got home and got into a stupid fight. I'm not even going to get into it, it was that stupid. It was short and loud - like our fights always turn out. But MrHoppy broke something of mine on purpose and it sent me over the edge. I wasn't even mad, I was just done. I went upstairs, put on my pj's and crawled into bed. I had clothes in the washer, clothes in the dryer and some picking up to do since we had just eaten dinner. But I didn't care. I just closed the door with the pups and cried.

I didn't cry for long. I laid there and wondered "how did I get here"? How did I wind up uphappy and how did he wind up stressed and frustrated? How long will IF take a toll on our relationship? When will we handle our emotions better and avoid blow outs that don't have anything to do with what we're fighting about anyway?

Then the confustion set in. I wondered "how do I get out of here?" Which was a really scary thought. I wondered how I could just walk away from it all and start over. Or go to sleep and not wake up. Would that be so bad? Don't get me wrong - I love him but sometimes I feel very trapped. I feel like I'm stuck somewhere I don't necessarily want to be. Not moving forward and not moving back. I hate saying it and debated even writing this post. But it doesn't do me any good to keep the way I'm feeling bottled up inside.

Is this all stemming from IF? Maybe, but regardless, I need to deal with it. We both do. Perhaps it's time to schedule another appointment with my counselor. And I think we need to go together. IF isn't the only thing bothering me. I'm frustrated with his career (lack thereof really), schedule at work, and other things I can't even think of right now. When he sets something down and scratches the mantle I painstakingly painted and I feel like screaming (but don't) - I'd say we have a problem. I don't blame him for feeling like he can't do anything right. I treat him that way sometimes which isn't fair at all.

What do I do? Where do I start? How do I keep myself from jumping on a plane and never looking back? I hate being here...

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

We'll be at my in-law's house all day tomorrow so I won't have time to blog. So I'll do my thankful post a day early mmm-kay?

I've been emotional this week for some reason (kind of not like me) and I wonder if it has to do with the holiday? I think I'm still coming to terms with our recent decision and it's still affecting me more than I let on. Even more than I admit to myself. But I think that's to be expected, don't you?

But in the spirit of Thanksgiving I'm going to focus on what I do have. And that is a lot...

This year I'm thankful for:

- a cute, funny, sexy, generous and irritating husband ;)
- a family that loves me
- my sister who is my best friend
- my nephew - need I say  more??
- our furbabies
- an awesome house that I really do love
- a stable job
- friends that have stood by me every step of the way
- the ability to travel often

And I'm also very thankful for the strength I never knew I had. The ability to keep moving forward even when my heart is broken.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Weekend Recap

Ugh, I still haven't downloaded our Florida pictures. It's driving me crazy but I feel like when I'm home lately I just don't think to do it! There are a few other little projects I've been working on so that's my story. And I'm stickin' to it. I'll do it this weekend after Thanksgiving.

This weekend was fabulous. We had the best plans - NO plans! So we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted.

Friday night I met my sister, brother in law and nephew for happy hour. Don't worry, we didn't have a "baby in a bar". We sat at a booth just outside the bar area. :) It didn't last long as O-Town was needing to get to bed. I went home and got a jump start on cleaning the house before MrHoppy got home from work. We've been cleaning on Friday nights lately and it's so nice to wake up Saturday morning to a clean house!

Saturday we shopped til we dropped. And didn't buy a thing for anyone else... We aren't in Christmas shopping mode yet. We are in we-want-to-shop-for-our-house mode. And that we did. We found lots of 50% off Christmas decorations at Hobby Lobby, stopped for nachos and a beer to re-fuel and then found a great new end table at Home Goods. It had a few blemishes so they gave us an extra 10% off the already low price. Score!

Sunday morning we got up early and went to my sister's house for breakfast. My nephew is so adorable and sweet and fun first thing in the morning. All smiles I tell ya. I love it. Look at this happy guy!

After breakfast we braved the grocery store... As did everyone else in our town! It was a zoo. But we were patient and got what we needed for 3 days of healthy eating before Thursday! While we were out we bought a Sunday paper so I could check out the sales for the week and Black Friday.

I was so excited when I saw JC Penny's had their window coverings on sale 40%-60% off! I've been looking for new curtains since we bought our furniture in September. I had an idea of what I wanted and just couldn't find it. Our house had a lot of brown so I wanted to lighten it up a bit. I found panels that were originally $60/panel. They were on sale and after the 15% coupon I had and a coupon from the paper I got them for $22/panel! SCORE! And not what I pictured in there but they look awesome. They add some color in a palatte that I'd like to accesorize in anyway. I'll get a good picture of them this week during the day. I took one last night at dusk and it just doesn't do that area justice.

All in all, a fabulous weekend. And we are SO looking forward to this week. Short work week and time spent with family. I'll take it!

Good Evening

Last night that is... :) MrHoppy and I haven't had an evening of just us in a long time. Where we just sit and talk, catch up and laugh with no interruptions. We finally had one last night and it was much needed. I loved it.

We talked about all my ideas for our house. Just little things to update it, change up our decor and make it exactly how we want it. I was surprised and so happy when he was totally on board. Most of the projects will be inexpensive but a little time consuming. And with most of them I'll need his help so it was important to me that he be interested and willing.

He was even more excited when I showed him some of the blogs I read about home renovations. So much so that he busted out the rope lights we've been storing in the garage and not using because all the brackets they attach to on the deck were broken... in one Summer... grrrr... annoying. But they came in handy anyway! He installed them above the kitchen cabinets so we have some mood-lighting in that room now! It was so quick and easy and really makes a difference.

Tomorrow we're planning to spend the day shopping for a few items. An entryway table or bar cabinet is first on our list. We know what we want and we aren't going to settle for less! Since everything needs to stay in budget we'll check out Home Goods, Gordman's, Hobby Lobby, Michaels, and even Goodwill. You never know what you'll find!

What is everyone else up to this weekend?

Thankful on Thursday

Today (aside from just being thankful that the weekend is almost here!) I am thankful for my new hobby. It's not really a hobby yet since I've only made one thing but I'm hoping now that the weather is cooler I'll have more time to spend at my sewing machine.

MrHoppy understood how lonely and bored I was getting so when I suggested we find a used sewing machine on craigslist he was all for it. It doesn't hurt that my Mom is an amazing seamstress and knows all about them. How am I not already a pro after growing up with a sewing Mom?? I don't know, but I'm not. She was just as excited as I was when we found a practically new Brother machine close to home for less than $100! I snatched it up and immediately and bought all the things I would need to go with it for little projects.

And then it just sat there... and sat there... and I was busy...

Really I just needed help getting started. I had a pattern all cut out but didn't know where or how to start. So my awesome seamstress of a Mother came over and we made this little bag:

Isn't it cute? And it didn't cost me anything. She had lots of scrap fabric leftover from other projects and she let me have all of it. It's even lined in a cute yellow material. 

I quickly decided it was the perfect bag to store one of my other Winter hobbies...

Knitting! I started this scarf early this year and didn't finish it. I just don't knit when the weather is warm. So I'm going to be finishing it up and I think it will be a Christmas gift for someone. And I have to admit - the only thing I knit is scarves. One of the things I enjoy most about knitting is that I can do it while I watch TV, or zone out, or if I have a few down minutes at work. Making something more detailed would take way more concentration which kind of defeats the purpose for me. So for now, I'm happy just knitting scarves. :)
And I have pictures of the lining in my bag and the scarf I'm working on that won't download right now! Frustrating... What's up blogger?

Look what I got...

The Florida vacation post is coming - I swear. Our laptop was out of comission the last 2 days but MrHoppy promises it's in tip-top condition again now. I wouldn't even consider using the archaic desktop monster in the office... :::shudder::: I'll download pictures tonight after the gym!

Anywho...

I've posted recently about my new obsession with being (becoming) crafty and home decor. The obsession is only growing as Christmas approaches. I've found new blogs to follow that are centered around crafts and decorating and I'm loving it!

Ideas are running around like crazy-town in my head. I can't wait to try some of them. And my goal is to do everything myself so I don't spend a lot of moolah. Plus it will keep my busy on lonely nights right? We are hosting Christmas at our house with MrHoppy's family from out of town and I'm so excited. He's the man with a plan in the food department but I am the woman in charge of the decor. The ambiance if you will... So it's a big deal to me that the house look great!

Imagine my excitement when I opened the mailbox last night after work and saw this little gem:

I have heard people rave about it and decided to break down and spend the money this year to see what all the fuss was about. I'll be honest when I say I was the tiniest bit disappointed. I was expecting DIY overload. Pages and pages of decorating ideas that would work in my home. And there are some great ideas, don't get me wrong. Just not a lot that will work in my space. But I have lots of pages turned down - not to worry! I just need to put my style into it a bit more.

I'm trying to hold off on Christmas until at least ummm 8PM on Thursday, November 25th? I swear I am. Is that fair? I have even been trying to get to Hobby Lobby or Michaels this week to make a little something for our living room for Thanksgiving. I just can't seem to make it happen! The casa does look nice right now with the "Autumn" sign I have up, the pumpkins, candles, mums and pretty Fall wreath on the front door. Oh and not to mention my super cute corn stalks outside at the front door! I should have blogged about that project... A blog/picture plan for the weekend I suppose! Before it's all replaced with red, green, Santa and garland!

Life is unfair

I promise to post pictures and write about our Florida trip soon. We had a fabulous time and it was a much needed break. Today just isn't the day.

I just have such a sad feeling about life today. Some of the wonderful women I met on my support website have had terrible things happen to them in the last week or so. I don't want to be specific as it's not my place to write about their loss and heartache. But Thursday night I broke down in tears for one of them specifically when I checked in and saw her news. My heart felt like it was literally breaking. I was angry, sad, frustrated and just so tired of the terrible things that happen in life. How much can one couple be forced to endure? Why would life be taken that was so difficult and painful to create in the first place?

I'll say it again. How much can people take? Why do they have to? Because life isn't fair. I understand that we can't have everything that we want in this life. But it doesn't change the fact that I hate it, it makes me sad and I can't express the sympathy I feel for them in words.

I'm still getting over our loss. The loss of a dream. Missing a child we'll never meet, that never was. I'm still raw even if I'm moving on and doing better. Maybe that's why when these things happen I feel devestated?

Awww Crap

Literally. I think the universe hates me. Like hates my guts...

All day yesterday I was thinking about our trip. All I need to accomplish before we go - laundry, gym (twice!), packing, pedicure (done myself of course!), bank, pay bills and wrap things up at work. It all needs to be done today since we leave bright and early tomorrow morning!

So Monday at 5PM finally rolls around. I pick up my carpool and head home. I walk into the house and it hits me.

The smell of dog crap.

Let me tell you a little bit about Gizmo. He gets diarrhea about every 4 months. He has to be put on an antibiotic, probiotic and anti-diarrheal during these bouts. Oh and an expensive bland canned food. We don't know for sure why this  happens but it seems like it has his whole life. Sometimes he eats other dog's poop though... This could be the cause huh? We were at my sister's house on Sunday and he was outside quite a bit...

So anyway, I walk into our house less than 48 hours before we have to leave him with my parents for a week. I know the drill: walk around the house and find all the little piles of poo and clean them up. Why would he keep it in 1 area?? That would be way too easy. Pile #1 is in the guest room. Along with some vomit from the cat. So I clean all that up. Pile #2 is on our white bathroom rug. No biggie, easy to wash and he likes to poop there for some reason... Pile #3 is the biggest and it's in the living room. So after using the last of our carpet cleaner I think I'm done. I finally change for the gym and go have a good workout. This will be the highlight of my evening...

Before I go I give him all of his medicine including the anti-diarrheal. This stuff is crazy strong - our vet says if they poop through that there is something really wrong.

When I get home from the gym I still smell crap. I look all over the house and can't find anything. We have brown carpet though and let me tell you - the poop and the carpet are the SAME color. So I shower, eat dinner and go about my evening. While I'm doing laundry I sit down to give myself a pedi. I walk over to turn on the light and step in a little pile of poop. Barefoot of course, I'm about to do a pedi! So I'm pissed. I go upstairs, wash my foot and clean it up. I then realize our bedroom kind of smells too. I walk over to the window to open it and air out the joint when... Yep. I step in ANOTHER pile of crap. Barefoot. I'm near melt-down mode at this point but I wash my foot again and clean it up.

And poor Gizmo. He feels terrible. I know he can't help it and he is never punished when he is sick but that doesn't make it any less gross or any less annoying. At this point I figure I'm done and I go to bed. Screw everything else I have to do.

He wakes me up at 5:30 to go out. He seems to feel fine and I know he's not actually "going". He's just trying to go. But he was pacing around our room and driving me crazy so I let him out and waited patiently while he sniffed and "went". When we got up an hour and a half later for the day I fed him his bland food, gave him his medicine and went to the window BEHIND our chair in the living room to let in the glorious sunshine. Because it's a beautiful morning!

 And what did I do? Step in another God-forsaken pile of crap. With bare feet - again. Is this some kind of joke?? Now they are very small piles, the guy only weighs 12 pounds and got the big one out in the open where I could see it. But I'm really worried about leaving him with my parents while we go to Florida. I don't have a choice but I'm just hoping this medicine works fast and he's on the road to recovery today! I know all the "piles" were from yesterday while we were gone and I just couldn't find them all right away. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there aren't any new ones!

"I'm sorry Mom"

Gizmo looks sorry but that crazy cat Macie couldn't care less if I have to clean up her vomit! She's just going to lick and sniff her brother...

Monday Blues

I don't know what my problem is today - I guess I have a case of the Mondays? (LOVE Office Space!) I'm just grumpy and in such a bad place with work. After covering for 2 weeks alone and moving this office to a new location I'm just done. I need a break. And what does the boss-man do? Takes today off, as if he hasn't had enough days off in the last month, to golf. Leaving me here again. Alone. On a Monday. Yes, I know he's the boss, he can do what he wants. But we don't have another person to help cover when the other is gone. Which sucks. And I'm sorry, but it's not my responsibility to hire someone. I do everything else around here! Not to mention he'll be taking a 1/2 day tomorrow as well... Can you tell I'm grumpy yet?

:::sigh:::

The silver lining to all of this is that in 48 hours we'll be boarding a plane to Florida! I'm so excited to see our friends and my Grandparents but mostly I'm just excited to be away from work for a week. How sad is that?? Now if I can just get through the next 2 days...

So maybe it's just because it's Monday, maybe it's because today I hate my boss or maybe I'm just bored. I am incredibly bored with life at the moment. I need a change. But what? Let's hope a vacation is all I need! Right now I want to get in my car and drive away. And not look back...

Anyone else ever feel that way?