I'll be honest and just say that I'm not feeling the whole thankful spirit thing today. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm just feeling so blah.
Honestly - and this is really hard to say - I think I need to go back and see my counselor. I am feeling "not myself" again and it's really bothering me. I'm kind of all over the place in my mind and so I think talking to her will help. MrHoppy and I discussed this last night and I think I'm going to go and we'll do some sessions together. I'll start back up after the first of the year.
I guess a lot of it is stemming from a feeling of discord and indecision I've been experiencing in my life lately. Big decisions have been made and now small(er) decisions are going to be made. Here is one subject I've been mulling over in my mind: The house situation.
- We bought and moved into our house in 2006 with the idea we'd live in the 'burbs, start a family and live our life in bliss. 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, big yard, 3 car garage, 2.5 kids, 2 dogs... You know the "American Dream". It was perfect for us with plenty of room to grow. Well come to find out, our family isn't going to grow. This is it. And now when I think about the sleepy city we live in and our house I just want change. I want to move back to the city, get a smaller house and be close to museums, restaurants, shopping, bars, ACTIVITY for the love of God!
- The housing market is making it tough for us to make a decision. I'm afraid to pull the trigger. We got our house for a steal and have done a lot of upgrades (built a huge deck, finished the basement, etc) and I would like to make some money back on those things. It's such a gamble - I've seen houses sell in our neighborhood recently for more than we paid for ours and also for much less.
- We don't want to wait indefinitely to make our move. Who knows when the market will come back? So maybe we should sell, hope for a tiny profit (if any), pray we don't have a loss and get the hell out? Due to MrHoppy's previous medical bill disasters it's going to be hard to get a loan in this climate. So we could sell, rent a cute house in the city and save money for a down payment. In the meantime really narrow down the neighborhoods we love and find our forever home in the city?
Wow that got really long. See what I mean? I don't know what to do. And if we are going to stay in our house I want to keep making upgrades and redecorating since I'm really enjoying that. But if we're going to move it's going to be a waste of time (and money).
I absolutely love our house but it has become another reminder of the family we'll never have. I'm bored where we live and there isn't anything for young couples to do really.
Any advice? What would you do?
Oh and today I am MOST thankful that I get to leave work at 3:30! Our poor Ridgey has to get the staples removed from her foot so Mama gets out of work early! Hopefully they say everything has healed great (minus the tendons for course) and it goes fast so I can hit the gym and work out some of this tension!
9 months ago