I feel like I'm always playing mind games. With myself! When it comes to weight, health, food and exercise.
I really do have a pretty good relationship with my body and about food. Compared to some I suppose. Could it be better? Of course. I am a woman though and I think we tend to be hard on ourselves when it comes to image and our bodies. I'm not immune to social stigmas. And I'm as vain as the next person.
I tend to get down on myself around my period. MrHoppy always calls me out on it which I appreciate. :) I feel bloated and run down and always think I'm gaining weight. It was especially hard this last cycle after the holidays when I ate and drank more than usual. Let the mind games begin right?!
But the evil witch has come and gone and I am in a better frame of mind. I talked to the husband about it last night. I was trying to explain what I rut I was in exercise-wise by the end of last year. And the rut was really in my mind - I was still working out but I wasn't "feeling" it like I have the last few years. I wasn't super motivated and I certainly wasn't eating based on nutrition like I usually do.
But I'm happy to report that I'm "back"! I am "feeling it" again! And I don't think it's going to go away. It doesn't feel short lived. This month has been great. I'm working out the same number of days but it feels better. I'm pushing myself at the gym and I'm loving it.
MrHoppy and I had a good laugh last night as I hobbled around the house like and old lady because my legs were so sore. I love being sore, it means I'm working hard. It means I'm building muscle and becoming stronger. It means that come Summer I am going to rock my bikinis. :)
I think maybe the cloud I have felt in the last year is slowly lifting. :::knocks on wood::: I know that my issues are stemming from a lingering depression about our infertility. But I'm really making an effort to embrace the life I have. To live it to it's fullest. I know I'll stumble, and I'll probably fall. But if I can stop the mind games and focus on a healthy life it makes everything that much easier.
I think next week I'll write a post on the specifics about what I eat, details on my workouts and even the nitty gritty of my weight. I think it will help me and anyone else who is looking for a plan. I always need to have a plan of action (mrs. organization, remember??). And I'd like to track my progress here too.
TGIF everyone! Have a safe (and healthy) weekend! :) My girls weekend begins tonight and I'm excited!
9 months ago