Hello, my name is MrsHoppy and I'm a prostitute.
Seriously, this is what MrHoppy said last night. It's all in good fun really but I guess I should explain myself...
Sometimes I'm not in the mood. At all. You know what I mean ladies. Not to mention I am on my period and oral sex is THE last thing on my mind. But MrHoppy was feeling frisky and going out of town and all... So I was pretty sure I could get something in return for his pleasure... I am so bad.
I am a bargaining type of gal, we've traded things for sexual favors in the past. But hey, it's OK, we're married for God's sake! Shoes, clothes, etc. There are things in my closet that have been the result of MrHoppy really "needing" something when I'm not in the mood. And let me just say that he gets laid all the time. It's not something lacking in our marriage and I swear, he will agree with this statement! These are rare occasions.
Last night was a perfect example of this. He came downstairs and asked what the chances were of him getting any "sexy time" before he left. A bloated, crampy and irritable MrsHoppy said "slim to none" and went back to my wine and the TV. Here is how the the conversation went after that:
MrHoppy sits down next to me and says: "how much will it cost me?"
MrsHoppy: "I'm a bargaining type of woman, what is the offer?"
MrHoppy: "how about a nice dinner with me?"
MrsHoppy: "nah, we always do that."
MrHoppy: "how about the money I left on your nightstand for paint for the guest room and going out Friday night?"
MrsHoppy: "that doesn't count, I was going to get it anyway. My manual labor in our house DEFINITELY doesn't count."
MrHoppy (getting flustered and desperate): "how about the jeggings you want from Express?"
MrsHoppy (totally amused at this point): "you already owe me those from a bet we made about Dexter 3 weeks ago and you still haven't paid up!"
MrHoppy (getting very desperate): "fine, how about a new dress for the wedding next month. $50 max though"
And you can use your imagination as to what happened after that. :)
$50 isn't a lot for a dress but I don't like to spend much on dresses anyway. I don't wear them often and I'm fine with going to Forever 21 or something for a dress I'll likely only wear one time. I'm hoping to get a day or afternoon off next week (since I've been covering work for TWO weeks by myself!) to go shopping. I'll get my dress and my jeggings and call 'er good!
Happy Friday everyone! Hope you have a fabulous weekend!
5 months ago