I don't know what my problem is today. I am feeling isolated and alone for some reason. And I feel as though I take care of everyone and there isn't anyone left to take care of me. It's stupid, it's weird and I'm just in a funk today I guess. MrHoppy tries - I know he does. And he does a good job 99% of the time. There are just a few things bothering me lately...
1. I feel like I'm the supportive and encouraging one when it comes to our healthy eating and fitness. I'm the one who drags him out of bed, begs him to come to the gym with me, plans meals and makes sure they are healthy. But there isn't ever anyone to drag me out of bed when I'm not feeling motivated. Nobody to challenge me to get it done, telling me I'll feel better once we're finished. If I'm not the motivating one - it doesn't get done. And then I feel guilty about it.
2. The same is true for eating. If I'm not the strong one saying "no, we shouldn't eat out or "no we don't need the calories at happy hour" then we go. It's never him telling me we shouldn't, we should save the calories and eat at home, etc. Sometimes if I'm tired I need someone to make a good decision for me. Like I do for them. Stupid and small I know but sometimes that's what I want and need! Someone else to be the strong one!
3. Coffee. Small and stupid again, I know. But I make the coffee every morning for us. This morning I got up to find that since he didn't go to the store like I asked we are out of coffee. So I drove to work tired and annoyed that I didn't have my morning coffee. Plus would it kill him to get out of bed 5 minutes earlier and make coffee for me?
4. Part 2 of Number 3. The store. He had the day off yesterday, nothing planned. I asked that he swing by the store to pick up a few things. We're totally out of food and he said he would. He didn't. It's so frustrating. So I didn't have anything to bring for lunch so will have to get a Lean Cuisine at the store.
5. Courtesy. It goes a LONG way with me. I am super aware of common courtesy and it drives me absolutely crazy when people don't notice they are being rude. I make our lunches every night. I hardboil 6 eggs at the beginning of the week and when MrHoppy takes the last one and doesn't make more it drives me batty. I go to the refrigerator for my normal breakfast to find there aren't any left. He took the last one and didn't bother to boil more. Big deal? Absolutely not. Something that bothers me to no end? Absolutely!
6. Work. I can't even get into it now but I'm taking care of my boss every minute of every day I am here. This will be taken care of come review time in December though. A big raise is in my future...
Sorry to be such a downer in this post. I don't mean to be but sometimes you just have to get it out!
9 months ago